


Sometimes the Universe Changes Status Quo For You

by flyingoverthehorizon



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Character, Fluff, M/M, Masturbation, Sex Neutral Character, Sex Repulsion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 12:38:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14402307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingoverthehorizon/pseuds/flyingoverthehorizon
Summary: Some things are better left unheard, but sometimes it leads to better endings





	Sometimes the Universe Changes Status Quo For You

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbetaed so it’s may be a bit rough around the edges and there are probably grammatical errors. I’m not sure all that was in my head made its way into written form, but I’m very proud of the fact that I’ve actually managed to make this! 
> 
> Thanks to all the bubs that have inspired me and (unknowingly) pushed me to wanting to do my best by just being their amazing selves! I love you people!!

20/2 - Friday  
Junmyeon’s POV

 

Junmyeon empties the bag of microwave popcorn into a bowl. It just fits. He carefully carries it to the coffee table to not spill anything and plops down in the sofa.

“Sehun, the snacks are ready, so we can start as soon as you’re done,” he says in a raised voice.

“One second, hyung. I just need to finish folding two more shirts,” comes the reply from Sehun’s room. They had done laundry earlier and Junmyeon had just dumped all of his clothes on his bed, planning on taking care of it later, and volunteering to set everything up for their Friday movie night instead.

Sehun comes out from his room waving a DVD case in his hand.

“Oh, we’re going old school today,” Junmyeon smiles.

“Yup,” Sehun answers as he puts the disc in the laptop hooked up to the TV. “I got it from Baekhyun. He says it’s one of Jongin’s favourites and that it’s disgustingly romantic, but also very funny.”

The movie is actually really cheesy, but Junmyeon finds himself chuckling a lot.

“I’m torn between telling Jongin he has great taste in movies and teasing him for it,” Sehun says with his head resting on Junmyeon’s shoulder. Sehun is always a cuddly person, demanding at least one hug a day because ‘it releases oxytocin which is good for you, hyung’, but during their movie nights he gets cuddlier, often huddling up next to Junmyeon and leaning into him. Junmyeon doesn’t really mind, and does quite enjoy it himself, if it wasn’t for the sneaking thoughts of maybe doing more than cuddling. He is afraid to admit that he might want to hold Sehun’s hand, maybe take him on dates and possibly kiss him breathless.

“It is a pretty cute movie, I admit, but it’s also very corny. Can we do both teasing and praising?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Sehun responds offhandedly, already caught up in the plot again, readjusting to put his head in Junmyeon’s lap, still facing the TV.

Junmyeon can’t help sneaking glances at Sehun’s face during the rest of the movie. He has really nice features, but most of all it is a familiar and comforting face. Junmyeon groans internally. Fuck, he is really whipped. What is he supposed to do now? He had just admitted it to himself. Great for him! But what about Sehun? Would he take it the right way? Would Junmyeon even be able to tell him?

He sighs. This is not something he’d like to worry about on a Friday night.

“You okay?” Sehun looks up at him.

“Just tired,” Junmyeon answers, choosing to ignore his spinning thoughts and trying to focus on the movie. It is not much left after all.

Later when Junmyeon has retreated into his room he realizes his thoughts won’t stop spinning. It’s as if admitting his infatuation had opened a floodgate. His head is full of Sehun.

He feels himself starting to get worked up. Shit, this is not good. He might have to rub on out. It feels a little strange, but eventually he caves in, not being able to help thinking about Sehun.

❧

9/3 – Monday  
Sehun’s POV

 

Sehun rubs his eyes before taking off his headphones. He is getting tired but he has a couple more hours of work to put into this assignment before he can send it in. He really wishes he’d put in the work earlier, but there hadn’t been time.

He tries to take a sip of his coffee, but there are only a few cold drops left at the bottom. 

Great. 

Sehun sighes. He might as well get a refill and go to the bathroom. Coffee always makes him need to pee three times as often as normally, which is why he rarely drinks it, unless he needs to hammer away at his computer for school.

Sehun gets up with a groan. A bed sounds incredibly tempting right now, but finishing school is the first priority.

On his way to the kitchen he looks at Junmyeon’s closed bedroom door. He’s gotten to bed early tonight, Sehun notes. It would be nice to have Junmyeon as emotional support while Sehun finishes his homework, but he probably wouldn’t be able to focus very well. He would just crave hugs and cuddles, and want to look at Junmyeon’s pretty face instead of the screen of his laptop. 

Beautiful, wonderful, kind and caring Junmyeon. Sehun couldn’t help but fall head over heels and develop the world’s biggest squish on his roommate. He doesn’t plan on acting on his infatuation anytime soon though. He figures their current friendship fulfills most of his needs as it is, and admitting his feelings for Junmyeon would also meaning that he’d have to come out as asexual. He’s comfortable in himself, but telling other people is not something he likes the thought of.

Sehun shakes his head. There is a time and a place for these thoughts, and that is not right now.

There is only half a cup of coffee left in the pot, but that is probably for the better. He should be done with the assignment by the time the caffeine rush wears off and would like to not feel hyperactive when it’s time to finally sleep.

He leaves the coffee at the dining table, that acts as a workstation tonight, and heads for the toilet. When he remerges he hears noises from Junmyeon’s room. Is Junmyeon okay? Sehun hasn’t seen him for a couple hours, being too engrossed in his assignment trying to finish at a decent hour (that didn’t happen), but it seems Junmyeon is not asleep yet. His door is closed and Sehun is about to knock when the noise comes again. 

He understands now. Junmyeon is fine, and most definitely wants to be left alone. Masturbation is not Sehun’s thing but each to their own. He turns around to go back to work when he hears his name. The entire world comes to a halt. A sense of dread fills Sehun’s stomach. He realizes that he wishes he misheard. No, there it was again.

He should feel happy and relieved, he thinks. He might be asexual, but he’s not opposed to the concept of sex so he can’t understand why he’s reacting to this revelation the way he’s doing. He should be happy and celebrate, because it seems Junmyeon likes him back. But for some reason his reaction is the exact opposite.

His mind is spinning and he hurries back to his assignment.

He tries to drown his thoughts in his assignment, but it’s hard to stay focused when everything around him reminds him of Junmyeon. But he has no other choice than to finish tonight. The deadline is 7am tomorrow (who puts a deadline at that time?) and he can’t possibly finish it tomorrow morning, so he just has to suck it up and push through.

~

Junmyeon’s POV

 

Junmyeon lies on his bed, post-orgasm, and is annoyed with how he slipped up again. Masturbating is something he’s mostly okay with doing, but moaning Sehun’s name needs to stop. Before he knows it, he’ll be caught in the act. He sighs and gets up. The clock reads 10.52pm and he decides to get a quick shower before bed. When he gets out from his room he sees that Sehun is still at his computer, eyes fixed on the screen. Junmyeon wish he could do something to help him, but Sehun had asked to be left alone for the evening, and if that is what Sehun needs to finish this assignments Junmyeon should respect that.

After the shower Junmyeon notices that Sehun hasn’t moved. He wishes that Sehun will be done soon and that he’ll be able to catch some sleep. Junmyeon stops in the doorframe to his room and takes one last look at Sehun, deciding that tomorrow he’ll get up early to make Sehun a nice breakfast before Sehun’s early morning class.  
Junmyeon falls asleep with a small smile on his face and a feeling that things will work out.

❧

10/7 - Tuesday  
Sehun's POV

 

Sehun rubs his eyes. He's barely slept. He got to bed at 5am after struggling with his assignment until 4am, and then not being able to sleep after drinking more coffee (he had to give in and get more around 2am, otherwise he would have crashed way before he was done) and his thoughts spinning. 

He really likes Junmyeon, but the thing he heard last night makes him feel itchy all over. He doesn’t like having this feeling in relation to Junmyeon at all, but he doesn’t know what to do about it.

He's had people fancy him before. He knows that. He's had people checking him out with a hungry expression. None of that has made him feel this uncomfortable, but none of that has been this straightforward and outspoken. 

This feeling is also very confusing, because he can't tell what about the whole thing that is causing the feeling. Is it what Junmyeon did? Is it the way Junmyeon seems to be interested in him? Is it simply the the act of masturbation that makes him uncomfortable?

He sighs and sits up in his bed. Why did he have to have a deadline at 7am when he has a 10am class? Who gave his professor the permission to put a deadline at 7am? If they want it today then why not put it at lunch or some other hour when students actually have time to work on it until deadline, or put it at midnight so people don't have to say up all night. 

He drags himself out of bed and pulls on yesterday's clothes. He has no energy for unnecessary things, and right now finding clean clothes is one of those things. He packs his bag as quickly as he can, bringing his backpack out to the kitchen to get his laptop. 

He sighs again. He forgot to connect it to the charger yesterday. He better hurry to class so he can grab a seat close to an outlet. He quickly stuffs his laptop and charger into his bag, grabs an apple on the go and heads out the door. Today is going to be a long day.

❧

10/3 - Tuesday  
Junmyeon's POV

 

Junmyeon rises from his slumber when sunlight hits his face. Strange for it to be this bright at 9am. He opens bleary eyes and squints at his bedside clock (a cute gift with bunnies on grass holding a pocket watch he got from Sehun a few years ago). It's 11am. 

Junmyeon curses himself and his inability to get up early.

He rolls out of bed and makes a promise to himself to get takeout tonight to make up for the breakfast he didn't get to make for Sehun. He would get him lunch and check up on him too, but Sehun's classes are out at 2pm and Junmyeon starts at 1pm so there will be no time. Dinner will have to do.

~

Junmyeon sent a message to Sehun as soon as he got out from class telling him that he'd get take out on the way home. He got a "thanks hyung!" back.

45 minutes later he stumbles in through the door (Sehun stop putting your shoes right inside the door! Do you want them to get trampled on and destroyed?).

Junmyeon sets down the plastic bag on the table as soon as he gets his shoes and jacket off. Sehun has already made the table. He's nowhere to be seen, however. 

Junmyeon goes to knock on the door to Sehun’s room. It's not completely closed so Junmyeon carefully pushes the door open. Sehun is lying on his bed, on top of the covers, asleep with his headphones on. Junmyeon touches Sehun's arm to wake him. Sehun drags a deep, surprised breath when he wakes up, looking startled. 

"Fancy some food?" Junmyeon asks when Sehun takes off his headphones. Heavy metal streams out. Curious, Junmyeon thinks. That's Sehun's coping music, when he's trying to drown stress in noise. He must be really tired, especially if he was able to fall asleep listening to it.

Sehun, being newly awake, takes a moment to answer. "Uh, yeah... yes that would be nice."

It's jajangmyeon and tangsooyook, which is a decently priced way of making Sehun happy. It fits in the student budget, thankfully. Sehun looks really happy about the food but soon he's back to being a little off. 

Junmyeon thinks it's the stress of school and lack of sleep. The music seemed to point at that at least, so Junmyeon decides to not worry. Sehun will be back to his normal self after some proper rest.

❧

11/3 - Wednesday  
Sehun's POV

 

Sehun feels weird. He can't shake the feeling of discomfort. He doesn't mind hearing about other people's sex life. He doesn't find it interesting either, but this discomfort is new and confusing. He thought he knew himself well enough at this point to not having to experience this confusion again. It seems he was wrong.

He's still trying to wrap his head around what the culprit might be. He really doesn't want it to be Junmyeon, but right now that seems to be the only variable that is consistent with the discomfort. Sex and masturbation doesn't make him feel icky usually. But it does now. People showing that they can imagine him in sexual scenarios usually doesn't phase him, but now it does. Junmyeon thinking of him when he gets off makes it crawl under his skin, so therefore Junmyeon seems to be the only constant. But Junmyeon doesn't make Sehun uncomfortable usually, and frankly he's quite fond of Junmyeon. Heck, he's even squishing on him! And while the fluttering feelings connected to Junmyeon haven't gone away, they are sometimes overshadowed by the memory of discomfort.

He really wishes he could figure out what it is that's causing his violent reaction to something that is so natural to a lot of people.

He can feel himself tense up around Junmyeon and he hopes he doesn't notice. There are still a lot of fond feelings, but the discomfort comes crashing every now and then. He notices how his mannerism is more careful and how his reactions to things Junmyeon is saying isn't as animated as they usually are. It sucks!

❧

13/3 - Friday  
Junmyeon's POV

 

Sehun has been acting strange all week. Junmyeon is worried Sehun might be getting sick. It's finally Friday, though, which means down time, at least for tonight, with their weekly movie night. 

Junmyeon prepares everything while Sehun is busy doing something in his room. When everything is set up Junmyeon calls for him, and Sehun comes out in one of his (goddamned) worn, almost threadbare, t-shirts and sweatpants. Junmyeon finds him so handsome and tries to not stare. What the hell, he's so screwed!

Sehun sits down at his end of the sofa, bundled up in a blanket. Junmyeon starts the movie and waits for Sehun to come closer to cuddle, like he usually does. But today it doesn't happen. Sehun stays put in his corner, and even though they make little remarks about the plot and the actors in the movie it isn't like it's supposed to be. Sehun isn't cuddling Junmyeon like he usually does, and that throws the entire movie night off it's axis. 

Junmyeon didn't know it would be such a big deal, but it is. He's trying really hard to not feel hurt. Sehun must be feeling really bad. He isn't acting like himself. 

Junmyeon makes a mental note to tell Sehun to check his temperature later.

~

When the movie is over they quickly clean up and Sehun excuses himself. 

"I'm not feeling too well, hyung. I'm going to sleep now."

"Maybe you're getting sick. Will you check your temperature before you go to bed?"

Sehun smiles weakly. "Sure, hyung."

Junmyeon can't help but worry for Sehun, and hopes that he'll feel better tomorrow. 

Junmyeon sighes. This movie night was a flop. He's been getting so little Sehun interactions lately and he can feel himself building up steam that will need to be dealt with. 

Junmyeon tiredly rubs his hand against his face before just looking at it. Looks like we have a date tonight, he thinks.

❧

20/3 - Friday  
Junmyeon's POV

 

Junmyeon feels like crap. Sehun hadn't been getting sick, but he's still acting strange. Junmyeon doesn't like this at all. He worries that he's done something wrong, like being too clingy. It doesn't seem too likely since Sehun is usually the clingy one, but maybe he overstepped an invisible boundary. 

What if Sehun has gotten tired of him? What if he no longer want them to be roommates? Junmyeon can't afford to live alone and he doesn't know how to find a new roommate as good as Sehun. 

More importantly, he doesn't want to lose Sehun. The more he thinks about his crush, the more he realizes how much he doesn't want to be without him.

Junmyeon really dreads tonight's movie night. He doesn't want it to be a repetition of last week's sad ordeal. He's not sure he'd be able to handle that type of indirect rejection again. 

~

Sehun is still not cuddling him and they are already one hour into the movie. Junmyeon's heart drops even more. Sehun really doesn't like him anymore. They are still civil and talk, but there is a barrier between them. Sehun is usually the one to initiate physical contact, and since he's started to seem distant Junmyeon hasn't really initiated any physical contact, apart from that time he woke him up when he'd brought home take out. 

Did he do something wrong then? Sehun had seemed startled. 

Junmyeon worryingly bites his lip, having lost all focus on the movie playing. He hates not knowing what's up but right now he can't figure out how to ask Sehun without revealing his crush. He's too tired for this right now. Maybe he'll have more courage tomorrow. 

He really should talk to Sehun but he's not ready. He knows that he needs to do it, but he can't handle the pressure right now.

When the movie is over they both quietly go to bed, and Junmyeon once again is jacking off. This seems to be the only way he can deal with this mess. He falls asleep quickly afterwards, mind empty, finally.

❧

21/3 - Saturday  
Sehun’s POV

 

Sehun feels bad. He knows lack of physical contact makes him grumpy but now he feels more down than grouchy. He really hates not being on good terms with Junmyeon. Junmyeon has spent a lot more time in his room lately and it makes Sehun uneasy for more than one reason. The first being that he always hates fighting with his beloved roommate and not spending time together recently makes him feel like they have had a shouting match.

He sighs. The other reason for not feeling great is obviously that Junmyeon might be masturbating again. 

Sehun still doesn’t like the idea of it. He had hoped some time would make the discomfort calm down. It doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon, especially since Junmyeon has no idea Sehun feels this way, or even that he had heard him. But how much of a say does he have over the thoughts in his friend’s head? 

He comes to the conclusion that they need to talk.

Junmyeon is out running some errands, Sehun doesn’t really know. Junmyeon hadn’t said much as he headed out this morning. Sehun sits at the table looking down into his cup of tea. It is slowly going cold. There is only two gulps left so he can still finish it when it is at a decent temperature. 

He decides to give Junmyeon thirty more minutes to get back before he’ll call to ask when he’ll come home. He doesn’t want to have to call, but the courage he’s worked up will only last so long. He finishes his tea. It is colder than he’d thought. He stands up and brings the cup to the sink. He might as well do the dishes left in the sink after breakfast while he waits.

Sehun is just drying off the last pieces when he hears keys rattle in the door and a sudden rush of adrenaline flows through him. Junmyeon is home. Better to get this over with quickly.

He walks over to the tiny hallway. “Hello, Junmyeon. Did everything go well?” Junmyeon hands him two plastic bags to hold while he takes off his shoes. “Yeah, I’ve been short on shirts recently so I went out and got a few new ones.” He still seems a little bit awkward, as if to try and judge if Sehun still is distant and just trying to be nice, or if he’s actually curious. Sehun sighes.

“Junmyeon,” he begins, “I’ve been a bit off lately, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, so I think we should talk…” He drifts off.

Junmyeon looks concerned, but Sehun can’t tell if it is for Sehun’s or his own sake. “Okay,” he says after a beat of silence. “Just let me get inside properly first.”

Sehun nods. “Do you want coffee?”

“That’d be great! I didn’t have any this morning.”

They sit down in the sofa, Junmyeon with his cup of coffee in one hand, too hot to drink yet. Sehun takes a deep breath. “So… I said that we need to talk. I want you to listen to what I have to say and don’t make any assumptions until I’m done. Okay?”  
Junmyeon nods nervously, taking a sip of his coffee, grimacing when it burns.

Sehun looks down at his hands. He sits on them to stop fidgeting. “I heard you getting off and saying my name,” he begins. Junmyeon’s eyes snaps wide open. “I didn’t really know what to think or feel to be honest. I really like you, Junmyeon, and I want to feel flattered but for some reason I’m just uncomfortable. I do think I’d be uncomfortable regardless of who I’d heard though.” 

“It’s not about you,” he adds when he sees Junmyeon’s embarrassed and guilty expression. “I’m asexual,” he admits. It is easier to say when he’s already talking about things that feel hard to talk about. “Not that asexuals can’t have sex or stuff, but I’m just not into that. I think that’s why I felt weird…” He drifts off.

“I’m so sorry for this, Sehun. I’m embarrassed to say that it’s been hard to keep my hands to myself but I didn’t want to change what we had so I thought this was a good way to deal with my feelings.” Junmyeon rubs the back of his head awkwardly. “Now I just feel horrible for making you uncomfortable.”

“Listen, you didn’t know, and for all I know this might be a perfectly normal way for people to go about things. I don’t know and I don’t blame you. One of the reasons it took me some time to get around to talk to you is because I hoped my discomfort was just because of surprise or something and I wanted it to calm down or maybe go away. It didn’t work obviously.” Sehun pulls out his hands from under his thighs. They feel cold from the limited blood flow. He starts massaging them to get back the feeling in his fingers.

“I’m sorry, Sehun. It won’t happen again.” Junmyeon looks serious. They are silent for a bit before Junmyeon speaks again. “You said you like me? Does that mean as in like as a friend or roommate or like like?” He looks almost hopeful.

“I like you more than as a friend. But I don’t think we like each other the same way either though. When I like people, I want to be close to them and cuddle and do cute couple stuff, but no sex and things like that,” Sehun explains.

“I want to do all the things you list with you. And well the sex thing too, but that would only be if you wanted to, too.” Junmyeon looks shy. “Umm… well, Sehun do you think it would be possible to maybe go on a date? Do you think we could work?”

Sehun blushes and feels relieved. “I’d like that actually. As long as we talk about things and don’t cut each other off for weeks again.”

“And I promise to stop getting off thinking of you. I don’t want to do that when it makes you uncomfortable.”

Sehun nods. “Can I cuddle you now?” he asks and scoots over to Junmyeon who puts down his cup. It’s empty now. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’d actually love that a lot,” Junmyeon admits.

~

Junmyeon’s POV

 

Junmyeon had tried to get his mind of things by going out and shopping some clothes. It hadn’t really worked. Things evidently haven’t been great lately. He feels like crap and the remedy for that is usually being doted on by Sehun, but that’s not an option now. 

On his way home his feet feel heavy and he doesn’t want to come back to the awkward atmosphere between him and Sehun.

As soon as he steps through the door Sehun is there, looking hesitant. Junmyeon feels his stomach drop when Sehun asks to have a talk with him. All of the worst case scenarios rush through his mind. This is it. Sehun wants to end their friendship. No more movie nights, no more impromptu hugs, no more whining over school together and no more celebratory ice cream.

Junmyeon just wants it to be over with but of course Sehun has to ask if he wants coffee. He pretends things are fine and responds like he would usually, but in reality his stomach is a pit of snakes.

When they finally sit down Junmyeon is ready to bolt. He wants to be anywhere but here.

And then Sehun drops the bomb on him. Out of all the reasons he’s imagined for Sehun distancing himself he never thought it would be Sehun hearing him moaning his name. Sehun must have been so disgusted judging by his reaction. Junmyeon swears his heart stops and decides to tear itself out of his chest.

Sehun starts to explain himself and Junmyeon has to fight his own body to not bolt out of their apartment and never come back. Sehun deserves an apology. 

He starts apologizing, and Sehun cuts him off. Telling him it’s okay. But it clearly isn’t if Sehun felt this uncomfortable. Junmyeon apologizes again, and then there is silence. What Sehun has said is slowly catching up to him and he grasping for straws. 

“You said you like me?” Junmyeon begins very carefully. He desperately needs this to be true.

When Sehun confirms, Junmyeon’s world instantly feel brighter, a weight is off his shoulders and the snake pit in his stomach has vanished. Knowing that he hurt Sehun still stings but the relief from Sehun not hating him, quite the opposite in fact is incredibly soothing.

When he manages to ask Sehun to date him he swears his world is covered in rose petals. They will have to talk about how to navigate sex but even with that issue still looming over them this day has turned about a million times brighter than he expected it to be.

❧

23/3 - Monday  
Sehun’s POV

 

“Junmyeon?”

Sehun has just stepped out of the shower, hair still wet and struggling to put on his socks. There comes a response from the sofa. Sehun walks over to it to find Junmyeon lying down, eyes glued to his phone. Sehun sits on his thighs to get his attention. 

“Junmyeon, I’ve been thinking…”

Junmyeon locks his phone and puts it away, turning his attention to Sehun. 

“I think it’s unfair of me to ask you to not think of me when you masturbate. What I fear the most is feeling like I’m being used, but I trust you. I’ve known you for years and I know you wouldn’t willingly hurt me. So, if you want to think of me, go ahead! It wouldn’t feel right of me to stop you.”

Junmyeon looks surprised. “Sehun, it’s okay, you don’t have to force this…”

“No, I’m not forcing it! I’ve thought about this alot these last couple of days and I’m actually not uncomfortable anymore. I don’t want to know what you’re thinking of, but you can do it if you like.”  
Junmyeon sits up and wraps his arms around Sehun, pecking him on the cheek. “You are my favourite, you know that right?”

Sehun smiles. “I’m starting to realize.”

❧

29/5 - Friday  
No one’s POV

 

They’re cuddling on the sofa, Junmyeon’s head in Sehun’s lap, and watching a movie. The movie seemed more promising than it is. Sehun pays more attention to playing with Junmyeon’s hair than the (barely sticking together) plot. Junmyeon’s mind also seems to be drifting, he’s been shifting and twitching a bit the last five minutes. Suddenly he gets up.

“Uh… I’m just gonna go to the bathroom…” Junmyeon says.

Sehun grabs Junmyeon’s hand as he walks past. “You can stay. It’s okay with me. Unless you actually need to pee.”

Junmyeon stops for a moment. “Are you sure?” He sounds hesitant.

Sehun guides him to sit back down on the sofa and turns of the TV with the remote. “To be honest I’m a little curious. You can do it here, if you don’t mind.”

“Yeah, I’m fine with that,” Junmyeon responds, and after a beat of silence “Will you… participate in any way?” Sehun shakes his head. “No, I just wanna watch. Unless that’s weird.”

Junmyeon smiles lovingly. “No, that is fine.” He looks around to figure out how they are going to do this. He arranges himself so that his head rests in Sehun’s lap again, lying on his back and knees bent to fit on the couch. He looks up at Sehun, meeting his gaze. Sehun nods reassuringly and starts to play with Junmyeon’s hair again.

Junmyeon feels heat rise on his cheeks as he unbuttons his pants and pulls down the zipper. It’s a little embarrassing to do this as someone just watches, but it’s also thrilling. He really wants to do this when Sehun insisted, because it’s a development in their relationship and if Sehun is up for it he really wants to share this with him. He starts palming himself through his boxers and looks up at Sehun again. He looks curious as he watches Junmyeon’s hand moving, but he looks down at Junmyeon’s face when he notice he’s being looked at.

“Just do your thing. Don’t even think about that I’m here if it makes you uncomfortable. And talk to me if you have something on your mind. I don’t really know how this works and I can’t read your mind,” Sehun says as he scratches Junmyeon’s scalp. It feels really good. Junmyeon closes his eyes and puts his hand inside his underwear.

“Promise me you’ll tell me if you’re uncomfortable, and I’ll promise I’ll make sure to ask you too.” Sehun nods in response, but Junmyeon can’t see. “I promise,” he adds out loud.

~

Sehun’s POV

 

Junmyeon is really beautiful like this. His focus seems both razor sharp and hazy at the same time. He’s pulled out his dick from his underwear now and is moving his hand along it. His eyes are closed and his eyebrows are knitted together. He has started to pant and Sehun finds it very interesting to watch him like this. 

Junmyeon’s forehead is starting to get a little damp. Sehun lets his fingers graze across it and Junmyeon’s eyes are on him in an instant. His gaze burns and is much more intense than Sehun has ever seen it. He holds the gaze and keeps petting Junmyeon’s hair.

“How does it feel, Junmyeon?” he asks after a burst of confidence. Having Junmyeon look at him like that is thrilling. “So good!” Junmyeon pants out and closes his eyes again. He grimaces and his hips twitch. “Can I say your name, Sehun?”

After a moment of contemplation, he agrees. Junmyeon picks up the pace. Sehun looks on in fascination. Junmyeon starts to whisper Sehun’s name. “Sehun, Sehun, Sehun.” He gets louder. Sehun feels almost mesmerized. He’s not doing anything, really, and still he’s got his boyfriend all riled up. It’s a strange feeling, but in a good way. He hasn’t stopped playing with Junmyeon’s hair, but he knows Junmyeon likes it best in the shorter parts in the back and on the sides of his head, so he makes an effort to scratch there.

Junmyeon moans and tenses. Sehun watches in fascination as Junmyeon comes undone as he keeps scratching and playing with his hair.

When Junmyeon comes down from his high he finally looks up at Sehun again. “Wow! That was just… wow!” His eyes are full of love, and it makes Sehun smile. 

“You’re really beautiful blissed out like that, you know,” Sehun says. “But that looks messy.”

Junmyeon looks down at his hand and crotch area. “Yeah, I did not plan this properly.” He makes a move to get up but Sehun holds him down.

“Let me go get it. What do you need?” Sehun asks as he gently lifts Junmyeon’s head off his lap and puts it down on the sofa where he just sat.

“Ummm… a clean shirt and a wet cloth should be enough for now.”

“Gotcha,” Sehun responds. When he comes back he helps Junmyeon clean up and they cuddle on the sofa again. Sehun is spooning Junmyeon and is playing with his hair again.

“I think I could do this again. You’re so beautiful, Junmyeon, both to look at and on the inside. I want to give you everything good in life,” Sehun runs his fingers down Junmyeon’s cheek. “I don’t think I want to join every time, but I want to do this again! And it was thrilling to know you thought of me. I don’t want to know what you’re thinking of, at least not yet, but I like knowing that I’m in your thoughts.”

Junmyeon turns his head to look at Sehun. “Thank you for what you did today. It was amazing! And thank you for trusting me enough to try this out. If someone is beautiful from the inside and out it’s you.” He pecks Sehun’s lips. “I love you so much!”

**Author's Note:**

> A few facts: Junmyeon is more sensually frustrated than sexually frustrated, but he uses masturbation to deal with it because he doesn’t know the difference. This series of events might have had a different ending if it had been about a person with different needs. This is also one of many ways that asexually can take form. Everyone’s experience and needs are different and the best way to handle that is to communicate.
> 
> Thank you if you took time to read this! I love you!


End file.
